she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
