Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
