Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize