The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
