i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
