I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
