i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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