I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
