we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize