can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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