I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
