i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
