Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
