Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
