I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
