apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
