"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
