Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
