Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
