why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
