thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
