woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
