hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Randomize
