So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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