I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
