Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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