Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
