My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
