Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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