how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize