I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
