you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
