I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
