you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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