Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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