Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
