I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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