I hate your face
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dick very happy bro
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
