we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
