if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
