If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
vagina is talking i cant
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize