I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
