You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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