we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
