I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
