I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
