now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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