i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
