oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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