We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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