At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
