i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
