I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I look better un-naked...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
