If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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