love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
