When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i came on her dog
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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