i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
