this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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