those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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