so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
