Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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