dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
