Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize